Monday, December 2, 2013

Three Things I Love About Road House

   It has only been in the past few years that my love of Road House has firmly taken root. By chance, I ran across it on cable at Alaska's place (he and I were still in dating mode, at the time) and it was so cheesy, and actiony, and bloody, that I wondered how I had ever thought this movie was anything other than a masterpiece of 80's goodness. So great was my new love of this film that Alaska purchased it for me on Blu-Ray, soon after that. I'm stepping off on a side track for a moment, to simply express my horror at the Blu-Ray cover:

   Poor Patrick Swayze, airbrushed within an inch of his life, and to the point that it doesn't even look like him. Compare the two covers, and tell me there isn't something wrong with that. Anyway, this list has been sitting around in a pile on my desk for awhile now, and I figured (after another recent viewing) that I finally needed to get on this. And away we go with three things that I love about Road House:

  1. The triad of glorious hair:

 We have Dalton's (Patrick Swayze) feathered mullet of perfection:

  Doc's (Kelly Lynch) feathered blonde lion's mane:

  Wade's (Sam Elliot) feathered salt and pepper curls and matching facial scruff:

    2. I found myself torn here between Dalton's gratuitous ass shot:

     And Dalton tearing out a man's throat with his bare hands:

   Both scenes amuse me greatly, although probably not for the same reasons.

   3. It's Oh, So Quotable!

  Everybody: "I thought you'd be bigger."

  Jimmy: "I used to fuck guys like you in prison." (I always laugh at this line, too, because really, Jimmy? I don't think I would brag about that. Nor does it sound very intimidating.)

  Dalton: "Pain don't hurt."

  Dalton: "I'm telling you straight, it's my way or the highway."

  Hank: "He killed a guy once. Ripped his throat right out."

  Doc: "Do you always carry your medical records around with you?"
  Dalton: "Saves time."

  Tinker: "A polar bear fell on me."

  Wesley: "You disgust me, O'Connor. Do you want to know why you disgust me? Because you're a bleeder. You bleed too much. You are a messy bleeder. You're weak. You've got no endurance for pain."

   Bonus: Dalton sews up his own knife wound. As some of you may know, I have a fondness for people sewing up their own wounds. This is a pretty good one, and I am always amused by the back and forth of Dalton and Doc when she compliments his stitches.