Three Things I Liked About Killer Party (1986)

  While I am certain that I have watched this movie before, I remembered very little and decided to revisit this little flick a couple of weeks ago. Despite my dislike of what I found to be a boring ass "leading lady" (I'm looking at you, Jennifer) I enjoyed the hair and fashion immensely, and this movie has, arguably, one of the most laughably ridiculous cases of "possession" I have ever seen (If I could have found a clip, it would have made it into the countdown, but, alas-) There will be a minor death spoiler as the Bonus, but it will be marked, per usual.


 1. The horror movie/music video opening is spectacular. It's like 80s overload. I couldn't find a clip of the entire beginning, but here, at least, is the music portion: White Sister's "You're No Fool."

  2. Vivia (Sherry Willis-Burch)

   Smart, sexy, special effects wizard (and let's not forget horny) Vivia. Even with her giant glasses she was a prime specimen, so much more fun and interesting than the dishwater dull Jennifer. Alas, Vivia could only seem to catch the eye of  skeevy, chickenshit, Jennifer-obsessed, Martin, as this was still in the days of the old saying, "Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses." But look how cute she is!

   There are no screaming hysterics for my girl Vivia when the real bodies start popping up, either! She keeps her cool, finds her friends, cheats death a few times, and even manages to kick a little ass. She doesn't exactly save the fucking day, but she hangs in there to the end. Plus, she makes a mean fake severed head.

  And delights in freaking Martin out with it.

  My girl, Vivia. How I loved thee.



  3. The killer wears an antique diving suit. Could a more cumbersome disguise have been chosen? Do you know how heavy those things are? How could he possibly sneak up on anybody?

   How scary is a killer whom you can dodge simply by ducking and taking a step to either side and into his blind spot? I mean, really?

And now:

Bonus- Chunky Bee Boy gets a poker up the poop chute and out of the top of his head.

Drunk, playing cards with Skinny Bee Boy, happy.

But what's this pushing it's way up through the grate?

This speaks of unpleasantness.

And voila! He's a shish kabob!

Bonus Tumblr Photo- Linked to a funny, but possibly spoilery, photo that I took.

 

Three Of My Favourite Nicolas Cage "Face Swaps" (Part 2)

Part 1

1.

I have no words...

2. 

Katnic.

3. 

This one I find freakily plausible.

Bonus: 

Rawr.

And then, people, I FOUND THIS FANTASTIC BLOG! Go forth, and enjoy the Cage Swaps.

Nic Cage As Everyone

Three Thoughts On Big Bad Wolf

   Hey, kids, wanna watch a movie with a snarky, talking, rapey werewolf? How about a moron who doesn't know when to get the hell out of dodge, a quartet of highly unlikable college students, or a news crew that spends most of their time running away from angry people? If any of this sounds appealing, then Big Bad Wolf may be for you!

   This is not a good movie, but is was an entertaining one. A group of drunk, horny kids, cabin in the woods, werewolf, survivors kicking ass- that old chestnut. I will not reveal who the werewolf is (though IMDB just blows it right out of the water) although I do have to admit it's pretty obvious from the start who it is. There will be gore spoilers at number 3, but I will be giving another spoiler head's up right before we get there. So, let's give this a go:


1.  Hey, it's Marnie from Halloweentown! (real name: Kimberly J. Brown)

Halloweentown Marnie

Big Bad Wolf Marnie (her name is really Sam, in this)

  I am quite familiar with the Halloweentown movies, having a baby sister 12 years my junior who loved the Halloweentown adventures (and they were pretty good, I have to admit) Unfortunately, Kimberly Brown is always going to be "Marnie from Halloweentown" to me, despite the fact that she was also Annie Wheaton in Stephen King's Rose Red (I always felt that Rose Red was an underrated tv mini-series, anyone else have any thoughts on that?) Anyway, Marnie has grown up into Sam, sporting a nose ring, riding a motorcycle, and making her living as a mechanic (with nary a parent to be seen) She's the BFF of our resident "Hero-Nerd," and she's pretty kick ass- and can use a bow, to boot.

2.  The wolf make-up was ok in parts, absolute shit in other parts, and the full transformation scene was a CGI nightmare. However, there were 2 or 3 shots where our wolfman was fighting off the transformation, and the small twists and changes on his face were quite well done (not sure if they were CGI, Practical Effects, or a combo, but it looked good)  (As an aside, the movie used both practical and CGI, which leads us to number 3. Also:

GORE SPOILERS!

3.  Some of the Practical Effects were pretty good, so I shall list off a couple of my favourites:

   -Tug-of-War scene between some kids and the werewolf, and this happens to their buddy (who had some weird sexual fetishes, I thoroughly enjoyed his dialogue with his girlfriend out in the woods)

   -Violent removal of male genitalia, complete with snarky comment from our werewolf:

   -Werewolf peels off the top of a man's head like you pop the top off a beer.

 There are some other good moments, but I will leave them for your own discovery. 

  Bonus- In one of the funniest scenes of the entire movie, the wolf (now back in man form and covered in blood) burps up a finger. He looks at it blankly for a moment, then casually pops it back into his mouth and eats it. I actually laughed out loud. (And I wish fervently that I could find a clip of that scene on youtube, but no such luck)

 

Three Of My Favourite Nicolas Cage "Face Swaps" (Part 1)

  1.

I love this so much, I can't even explain.

 2. 

Mr. Coppola as a Scream Queen.

 3. 

I would hang this poster up so fast.

 Bonus- 

I wish I could be, part of his wooooorld.

Three Things I Enjoy About Tales From The Darkside: Strange Love

  Strange Love is the tale of 2 vampire lovers in the mid-1930s:

Marie, played by Marcia Cross

and

Edmund, played by Harsh Nayyar

(who, incidentally, smokes like Keyser Soze)

When Marie "stumbles in the moonlight" and injures her knee, our good doctor makes a house call, and is soon imprisoned to care for her (vampires can't exactly cart off to the hospital, now can they?)

Dr. Phillip Carrol, played by Patrick Kilpatrick

  This is by no means a great episode, but I have always been vastly entertained by Marcia Cross's blinding white skin, and Kilpatrick's mouth-breathing, wooden performance. Not to mention some of Edmund's laughable vampire "powers." If I need to say SPOILERS for an episode that is over 25 years old, then so be it. And for your viewing pleasure, I am linking the entire 20 minute episode at the end of this post. (Seriously, it's hysterical, give it a shot)

  1. Marie's "bat wing" dress. 

  Man, I love this thing. It's just so ostentatious.

  And she rocks it like a champ.

  If I ever find a dress like this, I will buy a red wig and go as "Marie" for Halloween one year.

  2. Edmund and Phillip play "Mercy" as a show of dominance. Remember what "Mercy" is?

I advise turning down the sound to avoid the ear-piercing, girlish screams.

  The scene is absolutely ridiculous, as Marie and Edmund both make it a point to bring up their "superhuman" strength. And then Phillip and Edmund play Mercy, trying to out do each other. So, yeah.

First they hold hands...

Then Edmund gets all fangy...

Then Phillip gets fangy...
(I feel I should mention the overabundance of hissing during this scene)

Marie doesn't seem too impressed, does she?

And then Philip gets the upper hand, which brings us to...

  3. The laughably bad "staking" scene, where you can clearly see the padding beneath Edmund's shirt. (And a distinct lack of blood to start with)

  Bonus: They sleep in a double coffin bed!

I have dreams of spending one night in a double coffin bed.

As promised: Strange Love

Three Sexy Facial Scars On Screen

  I have what is probably an odd affinity for scars. Not all types of scars (I'm not interested in burns, for instance) mostly scars made by something sharp. Slashes and slices and gashes, etc. While watching a recent show (more on that at the end of this post) I considered a few of my more favourite facial scars that I've seen in movies and on television. These are the first ones that popped into my head.


  1. Kakihara (Tadanobu Asano) from Ichi the Killer

From the moment that I saw this-

Kakihara was my man. The bleach blonde hair, that insanely cool wardrobe, and those cheek splits. Not to mention the fantastic slashes across his face:

Ichi might have been the killer, but he was rather boring. Kakihara was what kept me interested in the movie.


  2. Ma-Ma (Lena Heady) from Dredd

Oh, Ma-Ma, you evil, scarred, violent, sexy woman.

I love strong women, even when they're criminals. In a way, they're more fascinating, rising to the top of what is generally male dominated- the world of crime.


  3. Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) Game of Thrones

Never has The Imp looked sexier....

I'm a newcomer to the awesomeness that is Game of Thrones (by this I mean that it's only been this year that I had any interest in it- Alaska and I watched the 1st three seasons in less than two weeks, and we only have the last two episodes of season 4 to watch, now), and it's been one hell of a ride. Tyrion is one of the few men whom I actually care if they live or die. Him and Hodor. Hodor!, also with facial scars, to hide Kristian Nairn's tattoos it would seem:

Bonus Hodor Scar

  Bonus: Sgt. Barnes (Tom Berenger) from Platoon

I loved this movie as a kid, and watched it constantly. I also read somewhere that during filming, having the scar applied to his face daily became extremely painful.

I was 10 when this movie came out, so it's quite possible this was one of the first scars that led me down my road of fascination with wounds and scarring.

Real Scar Bonus: Tommy Flanagan

And here we come to the inspiration for this list, the delicious Tommy Flanagan and his "Glasgow Grin." (Alaska and I are currently binge-watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix, and I was delighted that Tommy was a main character)

I read that Tommy got his scars one night coming home from a DJ gig in Scotland, when he was jumped by a few thugs. I can't even begin to imagine how horrible that was, but I also cannot deny that I find his scars sexy as all hell.

And damn, the man looks good in a hat.