Three Things I Loved About Girl House (2014)

   It was a friend of Alaska's who recently recommended this movie, and he had me at, "kinda cheesy, digital, slasher."

   I will not be linking the trailer, as it partially spoils one of my "Loves." For that same reason, I used this movie poster off of IMDB, rather than the other available poster, as it also shows a blog spoiler in the background. (Also, FYI, the trailer reveals who the killer is immediately, although this does nothing to detract from the movie.)

   One more note before we get started, all of the chat logs via computer are in German,with no subs, (don't be fooled by the English subs in the trailer, if you watch it) even though this movie is entirely in English and seems filmed in the US (no accents) It's kinda easy enough to figure out what the users are saying, but Alaska and I watched the movie with Babelfish open, because we're like that. I honestly don't understand the point of the German chats with no subs, and the camera focuses on the chat screen too often to just ignore it(at least in the beginning) but there it is. It's annoying, but not a deal-breaker. Ok, let's get to it!

Summary-

   With the recent death of her father, college student Kylie finds her funds cut drastically and is in desperate need of money, or no more school. Enter the producer of Girl House, a place where Kylie will be streamed online, 24/7. The more hits she gets, the more money she makes. Unfortunately, Kylie catches the unstable eye of a deranged fan, "Loverboy." A whack-job with Alec Hardison's level of hacking abilities, although without Hardison's charm or looks. (We do get to see a young "Loverboy" in the beginning, which gives us an idea of why he is like he is. Also, hey, that's young "Selena Kyle," from Gotham!) On to our list (finally)


  1.  This is a house filled with hot chicks, but get this.....they all get along! Aside from a couple of side-eyed looks of jealousy from house-favourite Devon, all of these women are nice and supportive of each other. There are no screaming matches, no cat fights, no sneaky sabotage. These are just a bunch of nice girls doing a job. It was just so fucking refreshing to see these women get along! More movie directors should take note, you don't need constant bitch-fights for a movie to entertain!

A little taste of the ladies.

  2.  "Loverboy's" mask is creepy as fuck. I'd love to post a picture, but I fear that would ruin the creep-factor of seeing that mask come running full force at the camera the first time. Trust me, bypass the trailer and just watch the movie.


 3.  The dildo scene. That's all I'm gonna say, but you'll definitely know it when you see it.


Bonus-  I straight up appreciate women who don't completely break under the pressure, and several of these girls are good-to-go with logic and a will to survive. Ain't even gonna lie, I rooted for them all to survive.