Thursday, October 31, 2013

Three Things I Liked About The Convent

  This 2000 movie is pretty much Night of the Demons, only set in an old convent, and with a broad streak of humour, throughout. Featuring a stereotypical group of asshole college kids (complete with the nerdy pledge, and a lone goth girl thrown in for good measure) the delectable Adrienne Barbeau, and Coolio and Bill Moseley as the local law enforcement. This was 80 minutes of bloody good fun.

There will be SPOILERS in regards to some of the greater "gore" moments!

Yeah, I said "spoilers."

  1. Adrienne Barbeau as the foul-mouthed, motorcycle riding, demon battling Christine.

Still smokin' at 55.

  And her sweet stockpile of weapons:

Yes, she does have several nun/demon heads
hanging from her belt.

  2. The gore was pretty good, and they definitely weren't shy with the fountains of fake blood. A couple of my favourites:

   ~A Maglite is jammed into a demon's mouth and out the back of her head. This was a laugh-out-loud moment for me.

Something about watching her flail around with this in her mouth
simply slayed me.

   ~The cheerleader gets her face peeled off.

I don't know about you....

....but a good face peel always leaves me feeling a little warm and fuzzy.

   There were shotgun blasts a'plenty, a literal shower of blood, a dick chomp, and some eye trauma, as well. (The dvd extras showed some longer takes from the gore scenes, as well, which was kinda neat)

  3. Dickie Boy and Saul, the "Satanists." I find myself unable to describe how awesomely dorky and hysterical these two were. Every moment they were on screen was a joy. This following clip is Saul's grand entrance, and grand it is. 

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Three Things I Love About Trick 'r Treat

   I love everything about the movie Trick 'r Treat. I love this movie so much, and have watched it so often since my discovery of it, that Alaska began using the term "trick 'r treat" to mean "the ability to recite entire chunks of dialogue (if not the entire movie) from memory, due to repeated viewings."  Example: "I can trick 'r treat the hell out of The Monster Squad. I've seen it over 200 times." Since I do love everything about this movie it was a little tough picking out just three things to make a list from, but I managed. And away we go-

  1. Sam.

   Adorable, deadly, and a wonderful icon of Halloween! I embraced Sam with the fervent love that I also give to Jason Voorhees. (Check out my Sam collection over at the Happy Haunted Sunshine House!)

  2. The makers of this movie had a powerful love of practical effects. The CGI in this movie is actually used to enhance, not as a lazy convenience, and I am A-OK with that. Not only does this movie have one of the most realistic severed heads that I have ever seen in a movie:

   But the werewolf transformation scene is one of my favourites of all time. I nearly went into a fit of ecstasy the first time that I saw the women tearing off their skins to reveal the wolf-fur underneath. Not to mention, the wolves themselves were pretty phenomenal.


  3. All the stuff going on in the background. It's easy enough to note the interlocking scenes, but multiple viewings had me noticing more and more. Some of my favourites are:

~ In the opening scenes with Emma and Henry, we see The Schoolbus Kids leaving Mr. Kreeg's house.

The Schoolbus Kids, far left.

~Some of the other werewolf girls picking up their dates.

L-R: Werewolf girl, werewolf girl, Emma in the coffee shop window.

~Laurie chatting up a soldier in the background as we leave the alleyway with The Man in Black.

The Man in Black, in the background, Laurie

~Mrs. Henderson with "Coach Taylor, in the hotdog costume" at the werewolf party at Sheep's Meadow. You don't see her face, but just look at the costume:

Mrs. Henderson, our "mature" werewolf. This is also where
we see Coach Taylor "buttfucking a pig."

Hard to get a good shot of this, but if you watch the scene you can see, even
without her face, that that is Mrs. Henderson's cat costume. Not to mention that is 
definitely Coach Taylor, whom we saw earlier in the movie.

Bonus: The Blu Ray bonus footage contains some deleted scenes, one of which just cracks me up every time I decide to re-watch it. For starters, the wankers who play the trick on Rhonda are leaving Mrs. Henderson's house, comparing their gains, and Chip pulls this out of his bag:

That's no banana, it's a day-glo yellow vibrator.

A few moments later, Macy and Chip have this exchange, while standing in front of Rhonda's house:

Chip: "Is that Rhonda the retard?"
Macy: "She's not a retard, she's an idiot savant." 
(That is the extent of the conversation that made it into the movie-it originally carried on)
Chip: "What the fuck's the difference?"
Macy: "Retards are as strong as apes."
Chip: "Really?"
Macy: "Tear your arms right off."

  I laugh every time over the "tear your arms right off" bit. It's just such a kid thing to say, and I love it.


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Three Things I Liked About Bad Girls From Valley High

  Bad Girls From Valley High is a surprisingly funny tale of revenge, with a twist or two. We have rapidly aging teen girls in adult diapers, senior citizen stereotypes, a hot foreign exchange student (who may, or may not, be a ghost) Janet Leigh (!) and a surprising take on the devil (although, really, it makes sense upon reflection) This is currently a watch instantly on Netflix.

  1. Aaron Paul as a spastic dweeb. Hyperactive, annoying, with a crush on head bitch Danielle, and no one aside from Bad Girl #3, Brook, likes him (although borderline brain dead jock Gavin seems to tolerate him)

He looks like he should be hawking computers.

 Alaska is a Breaking Bad fan, so I am used to seeing hardass, rough-around-the-edges, Jesse Pinkman up on the screen. Jonathan "Wart" Wharton is about as far from Jesse as one could get.

  2. Mr. Chauncey (Christopher Lloyd, doing what he does best, which is play Christopher Lloyd on the big screen) gets the crap beaten out of him throughout the movie. A couple of my favourites were:

   ~Being tackled through a dressing room door and then being shit-kicked by the woman
      he walked in on.

   ~Being accidentally closed up in the automatic bleachers by the volleyball coach.

   ~Attacked by a pack of Pomeranians while dressed as a clown.

He looks so much worse later on.

  3. The ending. Everything comes full circle, questions are answered and, as mentioned, we get a glimpse of the devil. And it is awesome.