Monday, July 1, 2013

Three Thoughts On Hansel and Gretel Get Baked

An interesting take on the Hansel and Gretel fairy tale, with pot smoking, and some hinted at Nazism thrown in for whatever reason. Also, a distinct lacking of adults/parents, meter readers who act more like policemen than the policemen do, and how not to sing a dog to sleep.

1. What in the hell is going on with Lara Flynn Boyle's face? I'm guessing some Botox and collagen. Whatever it is, her face was very shiny and puffy, yet strangely droopy around her duck-lips.
Do you see what I see?

I thought all the puffiness was prosthetics, till the old lady makeup came off.

2. Girl Power! While this movie may be called "Hansel and Gretel...", it didn't really feature Hansel as any great protagonist. This movie was more about the girls. First, it's Gretel's search for her boyfriend(whom no one believes is missing)Then, it's Gretel and Bianca's search for their respective boyfriends(whom no one believes are missing) I really enjoyed the character of Bianca(despite an inability to remember her name, my brain insists on calling her "Rosa") With her switchblade, her cool head under pressure(for the most part) and willingness to go to any lengths to find her "papi,"(this includes sucking face with the puffy/droopy Lara Flynn) she was right on top. Yancy Butler makes an appearance as Officer Hart(another woman who knows some things aren't right, but who is thwarted by her douchebag of a partner(a man, in case that needs specifying) And even Droopy Face Boyle was good to go, taking on 3 hardcore drug dealers with nary a blink of an eye. I like strong women who don't wait around for a man to "save" them. These ladies are the ones doing the saving(and the murdering, in Droopy's case)

Gretel and the awesome Bianca


Droopy turns this guy into a shish kabob 

3. A teenage girl makes a "Little Old Lady From Pasadena" reference(although she credits it to the Beach Boys and not Jan and Dean, who wrote(Jan did, anyway) and recorded the song originally)

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